1. You let your 14 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
5. Someone in your family died right after saying "Hey guys, watch this."
6. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
7. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
8. Your junior prom offered day care.
9 You think the last words of the "Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded off it's wheels.
11. The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth then your spouse.
12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
13. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebit at the House of Tattoo's.
14. One of your kids was born on the pool table.
15. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
16. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And the best for last.
An East Tennessee couple, both real-live rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed." The doctor asked why, after 9 children would they choose this.
The husband replied that they had read that in a recent article that one out of every ten children born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.