It appears Mr Jeays is on at The Albert Brighton on Sun 18th Oct 2009.
I am indeed - I'm in France right now, but I've just emailed Trapmuffin to get an announcement out - lazy bitch, when I get back I'm going to spell out the word 'stupid' in alphabetti spaghetti and staple the letters to her forehead as a punishment. That'll teach her.
Better still, turn the letters over and staple them on in reverse order. The looking glass will then constantly provide beratement and enduring justice (at least until scavenging insects and decay cause the succinct and tomato-saucy message to lose its impact). It certainly worked for me, anyway.
I suspect that, given the fragile nature of spaghetti when cooked, stapling any pasta based product to a forehead would be nigh on impossible. And, as Steve points out, the resultant smell and scavenging would be most unpleasant for those dealing with the individual. Not to mention the cost of a whole tin of Heinz/Cross and Blackwell/Aldi produce just for six letters.
No, for employee facial reprimands it has to be a thick black waterproof marker pen. That's what Mrs Havocman uses anyway.
Yes, I did once write 'I am an idiot' in marker pen on her face, but she cunningly disguised it with foundation, so I feel that 3D letters are the way forward - and of course the satisfaction of the CLACK every time a staple goes in...
What time will Mr Jeays be on and for how long (Andy White is playing the same night over at The Latest Music Venue in Kemptown)!!!!